Standing Out -- Playing the Team Sport Alone

There isn't much to deal with loneliness. As a child, I used to call up my parents, no matter where they were, be it in a another country, or what they were doing, i called only to declare what I so normally felt, "Mommy, Daddy, I'm lonely."

I don't remember anyone telling me about that word, or what it meant. It never came to my naive mind that it was one word out of so many that meant much. No, I did not know the dfinition of the word I labeled myself to be -- loneliness. No, I didn't know, but I felt. How would it be like, I wonder, if. . . nevermind.

Presently speaking, I am alone right now, completely independent on people's opinions, haitng it when being surrounded by the world, or even the smallest of crowds as they constantly watch me to fail. Well, that's my perception of the world, at least. There are only few I trust.

The world abandoned me, and I'm okay with it, because I found God. It has given me all the reason to abandon it as well. But part of me tells me that. . . that I have to try. Being alone isn't okay, although I find it quite peaceful. And if it is unnecesary to entertain the world, then I'd rather go my own way, be in my own world. I wonder if it's wrong. . .

I'm fine where I am. . . But that's all I keep telling myself.

13.8.08 03:34