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The goal for contentment can easily be lost. After all, the human heart can never stop wanting or desiring. It's not that its right to stop trying to be content with life, its just that its way easier to just want and long for something forbidden. Besides, either way, it hurts.

And it isn't just because of those songs that make you remember, the familiar places that you've been to, the people you know, or any of that. It's not jsut because of those escapable things. It's those memories that you can't seem to shake of. Those notices that you have to forgive, and yet probably impossible to forget. Besides, it was a first. . . how can it be forgotten?

Being told to just forget is just. . . well, its contentment, or a part of it. Up until now, I can say that the things around me and my God have kept me from him. I felt happy, and I never wanted to go back to the past. I forgave, and I didn't want to remember.

He was the distraction. Maybe everything else was there for me to see, love, and experience, but he just came so perfect at merely the wrong time. It was my own fault to complicate life this much. I guess I was dumb. Naive. It can't be helped. I'll always be more naive today than yesterday.

I can't seem to forget. . . how happy we were in the past. Or, at least, i was happy. If the world was mine to give, I'd probably give it to him. That's how much I loved.

But maybe wallowing and remembering isn't the best solution. Although it's so much easier.

9.4.08 17:44